Adding Spice to a Vanilla Relationship! (BDSM for Beginners)

So, you are looking to add some spice to your vanilla relationship? Maybe you are in a long-term relationship and are looking to rekindle the spark or perhaps you are both very happy and just want to try something new?

Well, whatever your situation, one way to throw in some new excitement can be through exploring the world of BDSM! If you are vanilla enough to see those as four random letters and nothing much else (and we aren’t judging!), then you should know that BDSM stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism. Yep, those are some pretty intimidating words, right? Well we assure you that words like ‘Sadism’ are nothing to be scared of and if approached in the right way can be A LOT of fun!

To help you on your journey of exploration and self-discovery, we asked around the Oh So Kinky office to see what our team feel are some steps to consider before diving head first into a world of kinkiness.

Start slowly; as you are new to the world of BDSM, it’s safe to assume you are yet to discover what you like (or don’t!) or what you and your partners limits are. When trying to spice up your relationship by experimenting with different kinks, always be sure to practice ‘Safe Play’! Yep we know! ‘Safe Play’ doesn’t sound very kinky does it? In fact, the word ‘Safe’ is probably a total mood killer for you and although the term itself might not conjure up the wicked images of debauchery that you had in mind, being safety conscious, knowing your partners (and your own) limits and deciding on safe words are all massively important!

Do your research; browsing the world wide web for products you might like to try out can be very fun, especially as a couple! Initially you can have a good giggle at the (seemingly) weird and wonderful products available. After all this is supposed to be fun and can also be great for curbing any initial awkwardness you might feel. You will undoubtedly discover things about your partner you don’t know already, like how your usually introverted and quiet partner wants to take total control and dominate you! And all around this is a great step toward spicing up your relationship!

Consent; always remember and never forget consent! Asking your partners permission might sound like a cop out when it comes to dominating them and that’s why it is so very important to set boundaries and limits, as well as deciding on a safe word beforehand. If your partner is not in the mood, never EVER just go ahead and begin to tie them up (or anything else) without their full consent! Failure to do so can have serious consequences and will be less like adding spice to your relationship and more burning it down!

Thank you for reading and if you are ready to start browsing, why not start with our selection of kinky toys and outfits?

Have fun!

Lucy X